The head groupies

The crazy thing was that suddenly it was tomorrow! I had a chance to see him again after seven years. It was soo crazy. Certainly imagined but not to the full extent on how to handle. And if I would think of handling it I knew I would have to either hold myself down or cheat and lie to my boyfriend as if nothing had happened. Neither of these alternatives was for me.

And I already knew what would happen, at least if I had anything to say about it. God, I was so nervous and tried to occupy my thoughts with other things and instead I threw myself into inner debates on what to wear and how to prepare myself so i would look irresisteably gorgeous. Sexy, but cute, but still stylish...and then there was the matter of going there.

As i said it was literally tomorrow and I didn't own a car and it was held in such a totally off the road spot it was virtually impossible to get there by public transportation without paying a fortune. So I ended up calling my best friend. "Would you like to have an adventure with me" I asked her. She said yes, of course, but she didn't realise that we would have to leave that very same day to be able to make it in time. At eleven o'clock at night she came by and picked me up for our long journey through the summery night. Loud music proclaiming I was probably crazy (just like her) washed over me as I opened the car door. "This song is for you from me" she said with a tired mischievous smile. It pretty much summoned up the whole weekend.

About seven and a half hours in the car, three hours of sleep, and not more than a beer and a small burger from the night before I was standing in the elevator going up to his level. My cortison levels high facing the mirror one last time buffing up my hair. I know. I know you wanna get to the point...so did I, but this suspension i felt too.

The elevator doors opened and there he was...looking at me. I immidiately embraced him and he told me I looked wonderful. After some chit chat where I tried to stay normal we all went out for a bite which I was too excited to swallow anyway. He didn't take his eyes off of mine and reached for my hand as if he didn't want to let me go again. I couldn't wait for it to be over with. Finally we got back to the room and he asked me what I felt like doing for the rest of day, whether I'd like to check out the city. "I know this place, I don't need to see it again". He smiled. We stood in the window and his lips touched mine. I kissed him back like a desperate desertwalker looking for water. We parted for a moment and looked at each other. "Let's lie down for a while, we both had tough journeys". Oh the fire through my body...All I could think of was how fast I could out of my clothes to feel his skin against mine - all over.

I remember him asking me if I was OK ? I replied "No" "I'm so excited I can barely breathe. Please do anything you want with me!" In that moment a brief thought of Donald flickered by, as if I wanted to test how that would feel for me thinking about him while going so far...I knew I wasn't capable nor willing to say no by this point. I thought about him while all I wanted was to fuck my old boyfriend, and in that moment I realised that Donald had given me the greatest gift a man could ever had given me. No guilt. The only thing I felt was that this was soo right. For all of us. That this was my pleasure and therefore totally natural. I clearly remember this moment and afterwards I called him on my mobile and said "I just felt totally sexually liberated as a woman". I don't think I was ever so able to nail my feelings more exact than in those words.